You need to find out what you really want to do and stop running away."Steve tried to protest, but she was intractable. "You need to talk to Terry to deal with your feelings. There's no way you would have reacted like you did Friday if part of you didn't still love her. I've never been so scared in my life, but I can't live with knowing that the only reason you're with me is that you haven't talked to her yet. It would make me feel like your second choice and I'd know that someday you could change your mind and just walk away from me." Karen, that would never happen," he said emphatically, but he couldn't hide his guilty look.Despite his strong denial, Steve knew there was some truth to what she was saying. Over the months since he left home, he had often questioned his own motives for the way he chose to end things. He wondered if there wasn't some part of him that wanted to give Terry another chance. He had loved her so much, then just tried cutting her out of his life over the. Those children are graceful..." She looked up at Marie and continued with a note of discovery, "Of course! 'Sanctifying grace' — another concept lost in the black reaches of my brain. Those children are full of God's divine grace! They are truly blessed."Then the tears started to flow again and she said, "Wasn't there something about 'suffer the little children'? Anyway, that's who they are."Me? I think of them looking into my eyes and seeing only filth and sewage and rot! I am a walking disgrace to the human race; why my parents didn't leave me out on a high mountainside somewhere to die of exposure and provide food for a couple of wolves, I'll never know."Now she sat up straight on the sofa and held her head up as she said, "They did have the good sense to disown me, of course."Then she looked at Marie and said, "I haven't seen them since I came to school as a freshman. Every month there's money deposited in my checking account but that's all."Looking at Marie she began to cry in.
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